Love That Multiplies.

The girls were nice enough to nap at the same time this morning, which gave me the opportunity to have an impromptu “I’m two” photoshoot with Ezra, (since we didn’t get the chance this weekend). I’ve missed those. I have an entire Instagram dedicated to the last year and a half of Ezra photo-ops/shoots. They have been fewer and farther between over the last 3 months. I could tell that Ezra appreciated the undivided attention. I enjoyed giving it. I remember the last couple of months of being pregnant, having emotional breakdowns over the thought of having to split the love I had for Ez between 3 kids.. And how it could affect him.. How it would somehow leave him feeling less loved than before. It killed me! I realize now that my love doesn’t actually get divided.. It somehow multiplies! But I do have to make the conscious effort to carve out little Mom and Ezra times throughout the day. And when I’m with him, try and remember to be present. I’m sadly tempted to be distracted by the laundry list of endless day to day responsibilities that are now required of me, or honestly, just the mindlessness of smart phone entertainment. But this morning, I did a great job of putting that stuff on the back burner and just had fun with my son.

My baby is TWO!

Today my son turned 2! We had a really nice, long, full day. I think he enjoyed himself. And I really did too. I’m grateful for all the friends and family that came all the way from Dallas to celebrate. There were 9 kids (including mine)! It was our first time hosting a legit kids party. I was both proud and happy as I watched my son play with the other boys in the splash pad. And man was it wonderful not having to set up or do the clean up because we were at a restaurant for lunch. Easy peasy. (As easy as loading up 3 kids under 3 with all the necessary bags and stuff that goes along that can be). I recommend it. And here’s a quick shoutout to Maudie’s at the Triangle, specifically, because they did a great job accommodating all 20 of us. I hope next year’s birthday(s) go as smoothly as this year’s!

New Priorities.

Well, tomorrow my first baby turns two! Time really does fly by when you have kids. It’s one of the many things older people would always tell me when I was younger that I wouldn’t pay much attention to, but, it’s sadly totally true. I’d probably be weepy if I weren’t so distracted by having to feed the twins every 30 minutes and trying to keep Ez from climbing every piece of furniture we own. I couldn’t even have 10 minutes to myself today to go to the bathroom without having to have one of the girls on my boob. I’d like to think it will get easier. Ha. I digress. We are having a party for Ez in the morning at a splash pad and then eating lunch at a restaurant next door. I find myself getting nervous that I’m forgetting something important or that it won’t be fun for the kids and adults coming.. Or disappointed that it won’t be cute enough (my husband teasingly calls it being “Pinterest worthy”). We’ll have balloons, a cake, and some cute favor bags with fun water themed toys for the kids. But that’s it. I used to take pride in using my creative, crafty skills to plan and execute everything I put my name on. That was until 3 kids. Ezra had an adorable nursery (pictured above), but no cute nursery (or even their own room for that matter) for the girls. The house is now just a big play room for Ez. Things are in places (and not in places) for functional purposes rather than for aesthetics. I feel like a piece of me is silently screaming (and dying a little) every time another opportunity to make/keep something beautiful is sacrificed because I don’t have the time or I’m just too exhausted… Luckily these beautiful babies make my shift in priorities worth it. I hold onto the hope that one day I can have time and maybe even the energy to do the creative things I used to lose myself in again.

My first official blog post.

I posted a montage of photos this morning onto Facebook. It didn’t take any time on my part. It was one of those ready-made slide shows put to music options that Facebook offers now. I thought it’d be cute. And I had actually taken a few sweet pictures of the kids earlier, so why not? They made it look like our life here at home with 3 babies under the age of 2 was easy and peaceful. Funny how social media can skew and shape impressions. In reality, about 20 minutes later, I am almost in tears in the kitchen as both girls are crying to nurse.. Again.. And my son is running around the house like a madman.. 15 minutes past the time he should have been put down for a nap.. And I still haven’t had the chance to feed him lunch. I feel like quitting sometimes.. Like saying (to whom, I’m not sure), “Ok, I tried my best and now I don’t want to do this anymore.” But I look around the messy house, take a deep breath and give myself a quick pep talk. I resolve that this is my life. I chose to be a mom. Just keep moving and do what needs to be done. So, protein shake for the both of us it is. It’s all I have time for. Then it’s back to tandem nursing these other two adorable, bottomless, little pits. It’s exhausting, but they are worth it. When I look into any of my kids big, blue eyes I melt.. And remember that I’m actually grateful for my life. Sometimes I miss how simple and easy it was before. But this seemingly never-ending and draining chaos is, in fact, my new normal.